So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i drank out of a bidet.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize