Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
