end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
