You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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