well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
