So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
