Moan for me like Helen Keller
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
