Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize