i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
