you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
