capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
