I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
