omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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