I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
