He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My breasts were aching with rage.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
