There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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