Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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