stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
should my penis look like a turkey
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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