Your dad touched me again.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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