That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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