My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
