I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
