hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
