its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
