She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
