Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
