Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
