I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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