Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize