i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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