I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
