I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Pants are for mortals
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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