Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
