Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
