I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's shark week go big or go home
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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