so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
