All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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