I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize