Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
