What tipped you off? The sombrero?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
