i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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