This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
