I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am never drinking with the goths again.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
