I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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