I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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