People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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