you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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