I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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