Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
