You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
