we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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