He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
