So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
