I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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