A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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