You smell like stripper and shame
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
