dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
