fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize