Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
