look no pants
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
