you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
