talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
