Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
