After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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