I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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