yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
