All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize